13 Feb 06: Throwing apples out the car window

I thought of calling this "throwing apples out of the car window", but my journalistic experience has taught me to keep it snappy, so I am sacrificing good English in the interest of populism. I think this makes me a man of my times.

I few months ago, a woman was fined by her council for throwing an apple out of her car window, apparently in total disregard of the local by-laws. I mean, hadn't she read the local by-laws? What sort of a citizen is that?

Yet I so often find myself doing the same. One reason is that, compared to acts of defiance such as speeding, exhibitionism, drunkenness in a public place and even brandishing a gun - the latest must-have accessory in some circles - I don't know, somehow chucking the core (as I like to call it) seems less risky, less of a public nuisance.

Seriously, it has yet to be proven whether there is any harm done at all by this act, since, although classified by the coucil as 'littering the byway', it is litter that would, in all probability, self-destruct, if not actually picked up and eaten by a scavenging bird, fox or dog. Even some humans could benefit from such a food item that I, as one of the fortunate, can so unthinkingly disregard.

My heart races as I slowly and cautiously look around my shoulder, to the right and left, taking care not to look suspicious or be noticed by anyone in authority - even an ordinary good citizen could spell trouble. After the deed is done, I feel the expected rush of adrenaline. I feel alive - at least for a few moments until I settle back into my usual, docile, law-abiding self